Star gazing
by arish
Summary: Following work is a product of work done when one cannot sleep at 2 in the morning:Rinoa's thoughts as she sits under the stars... Rated R because of some fairly harsh words and violence later. Um, General because i didn't know what else to put it under


Stargazing…

By: Arish

Chapter: 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8. Argh, isn't life drag? Wish I owned Seifer…*sigh… Wow, I am a freak… aren't I?

Note: This takes place after they get to Ultimecia's castle. You know those gates you can go through to go back to your world…your slightly altered world. Well then you can travel around and do all the stuff you missed. So I'm doing this from that point. A bit of a calm time before they enter the castle of the evil Sorceress. 

Also: This is not for people who greatly dislike Rinoa. I don't like her myself much either, but thought it good to display her as something besides an airhead. Ahem, you have to admit… a lot of fanfiction does do that!

Finally: I hope you enjoy this! If you don't that's ok too… you're entitled to your opinions…

~

The smell of salt was so strong you could taste it. A pleasant taste if you were used to it. Rinoa was… and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath of the fresh air. She shivered at the wind of the cool night sweeping over her body. It was all so wonderful, the feelings and smells of the area on her. The sand between her toes… the water lapping at the damp sand not too far away from her. The wind in her hair and on her pale skin was like an intimate touch of a lover. She blushed slightly at the thought. Lover… could she really call Squall Leonhart that? It seemed so odd to stick him with any title; her mind sighed this as her head fell back to gaze up at the sky. 

So black but the many starts lighting up the sky made it's morbid beauty fit with those glowing orbs perfectly. She smiled sweetly as she watched them. She had loved stargazing; she had done it for as long as she could remember. The very first time was with her mother Julia; she felt a dull pang of pain at the name. Even now, so many years later it bothered her. Her father's entire fault, he was after all a very important figure in the Galbadian dynasty. People hated him because he was Vizer Delings lapdog. She hated him for that too, even more so after her mother died in that car crash. Some crackpot that used to threaten them continually finally fulfilled his plan. But instead of getting her father… he got her mother. She angrily shook the thoughts out of her head. It was not good to brood about the past too much. She had things to worry about right now… being a burden to the people who lay sleeping not too far away from her.

She looked over in that direction and saw their sleeping forms. Five in all, all were SeeD except one. That was Irvine, the flirteous cowboy. He was a good guy though… despite the fact he was constantly hitting on all the girls in the group… ahem, and even tried to be cozy with Zell. Who at first despised the guy, but eventually liked him like the rest of them. Even more after Irvine revealed they had all lived together for a time in that haven by the sea. The Orphanage Gang, never more then that moment had Rinoa felt so alienated. They had this connection she couldn't even begin to comprehend. Fate had brought them all together again, she found this amazing. She was surprised that fate had thrown her into the mix, and she felt so left out sometimes. They would share those smiles, those looks. These were only things that warriors shared on the battlefield. Each had their own unique style of fighting, but all seemed to know the natural rhythm of the other. It was like making love; one was the other… one breath, one heart and one thought alone. She blushed at the use of making love to battle. But you had to admit; both were the same… just in a very odd way. 

She could have laughed just then, but didn't for fear of waking her slumbering comrades. They were probably just as she had left them. She loved watching all of them sleep, their usual masks of emotion melting and left nothing but their true faces. They were like children… it was wonderful to watch…so wonderful. With Squall he would have that cute stern look he has when he's awake, but it was just like seeing a kid pout. So damn cute! Not too far away would be Quisty, her golden blond hair casting a halo on her face in the moonlight. She looked even younger when she slept, so carefree. Nothing like the Quistis she was when she awoke. Then there was Selphie, who had a habit of snuggling up to Quistis. Quistis always complained of being a teddy bear but never yelled at the brunette. Who could when she gave you that puppy dog look! Selphie would smile as she slept as she curled up close to Quistis. Zell was as messy in his sleep as he was when he was awake. He sprawled all over the place and sometimes ended up rolling over someone. Irvine would tease him about snoring, which of coarse he didn't do… but who knows if they snore unless someone else tells them they do? Irvine was absolutely naked when he slept in an Irvine sense. Not literally naked, like Squall and the others would tolerate it. When he was awake he hits on something non-stop, or has that odd far off look on his face. There is more to Irvine then any of them thought of. At least SHE noticed it; Irvine was right about what he said about sharpshooters. But when he slept all the loneliness seemed to melt away as he slept among his friends. Nor would there be that playfulness he had to push away anyone to think too much about him. Just him, his peaceful expression… and his slow breathing that could only be achieved when one sleeps. 

What would the others think of her… if they found out she wasn't a total idiot as she made herself out to be? They'd probably expect more out of her. She wasn't such a fragile and useless woman as they thought she was. She could see it in their eyes, in their movements when they dealt with her. It made her want to scream with frustration. She could fight; she could feel that feeling! That harsh mix of feelings one has in battle. Anger; pain… oh so delightful with a touch of every feeling ever felt. She could dance that dance of death as well as they could. That beautiful deadly moment, where you and your opponent existed… and nothing else did. She had fought so hard to open their eyes to her. She had power, even more so when she got the powers of a Sorceress. She could feel that ancient power rush through her every time she acknowledged it. It scared her that she possessed it. Or that people feared her because of this. _They_ didn't though, and that was all that mattered! Let those little flies fear her, with their unyielding minds. Fearing what they do not understand. She kept down the rush of maniacal laughter that wished to free itself from her body. She shuddered once she got control of it. She hated when she thought like that. It reminded her of Edea when she was possessed… or any other evil sorceress. But it seemed to flood her senses sometimes, the voices of ancient times bombarding her thoughts. She knew it was _her_, trying to control her. _Ultimecia_, a cold wind blew through her hair, as the name seemed to come with it. Those clawed hands seemed to spring out of nowhere in the darkest corners of her mind to claim her. She feared that soon the demented woman would soon get her. She would be Ultimecia's property if the woman succeeded. Her puppet, hers fully… her body… her will… her very soul. 

She shivered involuntarily at this. She was surprised to feel the comforting warmth of a blanket wrapped around her. She blinked and looked back to see Quistis staring at her. The older woman was silent as she sat beside her on the sand. Her usual tall black boots were abandoned and she dug her feet into the sand much like she herself had done. Both were silent for a time, just letting the calm effects of the area envelop them. Rinoa suddenly found herself slowly declining in her declaration of smartness in the presence of this woman beside her. Smart, and pretty Quistis. Whose whip was more efficient at times then her wise words. The woman was a goddess that just happened to dwell upon this existence with the rest of them. Rinoa knew that if she ever said this that the woman would laugh it off in a good-natured way. She was so modest, Rinoa hoped to be something like her when she grew older. Of coarse she had some shred of dignity, and would never admit it to anyone. But she wasn't jealous of the woman either. She knew that being such a successful person in many things had to be such a lonely thing. The fact that you were better at something or many things tends to have yourself put on a pedestal. Untouchable, cold… like the sting of Quistis' own weapon- a whip…how it fits. 

"Rinoa…" she could hear Quistis hesitate, not saying any more so as to pick the right thing to say. The woman's musical voice shook her out of her thoughts. She looked over at the woman, and found herself only seeing the silhouette of the woman in the bright moonlight. The moonlight seemed to shine onto the woman like a halo thought… so you could see her face at least. 

"Yes Quistis?" she said, surprised at the sound of her voice. Soft, shy… she didn't know why… she spoke to this woman many times before. _Just not alone_, her mind teased. Maybe she was just intimidated at having such cold blue eyes focused on her that weren't so cold. They were caring, for her…

"You seem to be… somewhat preoccupied these days," the older woman said quietly after a moment of thought to it. She didn't like the way it came out though, like she was talking about some common occurrence that happened.

"I don't know what you mean" Rinoa answered. She blinked when she a smile form on the other woman's face. It was rare thing to see the series woman do such a thing. Rinoa only sat in silence, awed by it. 

"You're a horrible liar Rinoa… but I'll let it pass. I'm just worried about you that's all… but if you don't want to talk about it that's ok too," Quistis said, the amusement turning from that to concern towards the end of the sentence. 

"Well, I've been thinking about us" Rinoa said staring down at her feet. She moved them about in the sand. She didn't want to look at the other woman now. 

"Us?" The other woman asked. Rinoa saw her gazing longingly out at the sea. Her eyes narrowed in thought to Rinoa's comment. As if the ocean could possibly give her an answer… 

"Yes. You, me… Squall, Selphie, Zell and Irvine…"she said now looking at a sea shell near one of her feet. It was I sparkly in the moonlight. 

"Ah. I see." Was all the woman said. As if she understood! This angered Rinoa; Quistis could not possibly know what she was thinking about. Quistis couldn't read her thoughts. Couldn't know what felt, what she thought! She kept silent, not bothering to continue this small conversation. The older woman only sighed, as is sensing Rinoa's anger. Her mouth opened, then closed again and she shook her head. 

"What?" Rinoa finally snapped. She didn't like the silence dragging out any longer. Quistis only raised an eyebrow at this. For some odd reason it only angered her more. Gods how she wanted to fight this woman. This ice queen who didn't seem swayed by a thing. Quistis seemed to sense the tension in the air, and stood and brushed the sand off her backside. Rinoa sat, stunned as the woman made her way back down the beach. 

It was in an opposite direction of the group, but Rinoa didn't seem to notice as she charged after the older woman. But the woman only seemed to get farther away and Rinoa soon had to sprint after the woman to keep up with her graceful strides. Quistis turned to Rinoa abruptly and her Save the Queen shined in the moonlight. Rinoa felt a sudden fear grip her as she saw the gleam in Quistis' eyes. Zell hadn't called Quistis ice queen for nothing, besides the face that Shiva had taken a liking to her. Cold and efficient, like Rinoa had said herself earlier. She shook off the feeling. This was what she wanted; she wouldn't back down for anything. So she took her fighting stance and waited for Quistis' attack…

~

Author's note: I decided this was long enough as it is… so I'll make a second one. Or perhaps it was too short? So you can further gaze into the thoughts of Rinoa Heartily. Maybe she isn't the idiot many make her out to be… But you yourself can decide that… and uh… Please R&R! Good ones bad ones who really cares! A review is a review!


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